WBB ESSAYS
My Body and I Are Not Two Separate Things
- peacewithin
For me recovery has been about not seeing myself and my body as two separate things, but rather one.... I don't "love" myself completely yet, but I do like myself enough to take care of myself better. . I don't want to be miserable for the sake of what others can only see....
As far as transitioning from hating my body to liking it - I've had to push myself into realizing some things. I'm working on "inner-child" work in T, and I try to treat myself as the child in me.... would I hate my 8 year old self? Would I inflict pain on her? Would I ignore her? Would I judge her by her body? This isn't as easy as all that. It is hard, but I can't keep treating myself like shit. My inner-child, my body, and my spirit are all one. I'm just trying to grasp that and stick to it. ......trying to realize that I would not treat my worst enemy as I did my self...
You know the old saying, "treat others as you would yourself?" W ell I'm trying to "treat myself as I would others"
I DO appreciate my body more than I used to. I wish I hadn't damaged it soo much with my ED, but that has made me appreciate what was not damaged more.
I think it happens one step at a time... I did not always push so hard to make sure I gave myself the nutrients it needs... but it did happen slowly. I did not always try to talk to myself in a nurturing way - but I'm tired of that negative voice always telling me that I can't do anything right or that I will never be completely recovered..
It's definitely baby steps.
- peacewithin
