Bonuses in Recovery
Since getting into solid recovery, I've been so happy to find some "bonus" changes that I had never heard about. While I was active in my ED, my mind was forever busy calculating numbers in so many ways. Aside from weighing myself multiple times a day, I was also figuring calories, fat grams, calories burned by activities, etc. My head was such a jumble of numbers that I didn't have time to think of much else.
Since I had grown up this way (my ED began at age 10), I didn't really know there was any other way. Since I've found recovery, I've been absolutely amazed at how much mental free time I now have. I can really focus on things that are more important to me now. It has been such an incredible surprise! In my recovery, I don't weigh myself at all. I don't have a scale. I don't follow a specific meal plan any longer and just eat the things that I like, regardless of content. I'm able to go to any fast-food place and choose what I would like without the mental torture that used to be involved. I just feel so free!
And I'm grateful for it every single day because I spent over 20 years living the other way. I'll do whatever I have to do to keep my recovery because nothing is worth going back to my ED way of life now that I've experienced the other side.
I tell people that quite frankly, the process of recovery is really hard and there were lots of times that I wanted to give up (and did just that at times), but I just want to let everyone know that coming out the other side is so amazing. When I was in my ED, I couldn't have imagined that anything would have been "enough" to take the place of the ED, but please trust me, this is!